#MCM

I should have posted this yesterday. I even had time to post this yesterday. But I was way to caught up in a book to desire to post this yesterday. It's true. Go ahead, judge me. But for those of you who have read the Divergent series/trilogy/two books that are currently out... you completely understand. I can't even begin to describe how awesome the first two books are. There is a trailer out for the first movie. Google it. Then buy the book. And nod your head in agreement.

Back on track....

This week's #MCM :: appropriate and professional social media posting for the collegiate age.

Yup. You read correctly. For those of you who have been through the trials and tribulations of college, you understand where the coach is coming from. AND if you are in a coaching position and have access to the internet, you REALLY know where he is coming from. Let me make one thing clear - the coach does not have a facebook, twitter, instagram or any other type of social media outlet. But his wife, mother, friends and coworkers do. And, he has a phone. What does that mean? When he is looking over my shoulder at my facebook or he hears someone talking about a picture or status that was posted about his students doing something they shouldn't be, he gets a little irritated.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Joelynn, you are a froggin' hypocrite for even posting this. And you're right. I am. However, I'm old. Above the legal drinking age. I have a career. I post some pretty nutso, blunt, rude and even somewhat humorous stuff on this here blog of mine. Since you see the way I am now, just imagine how I was in college.

Here's the difference - 8 years. In the past 8 years, social media has gone from "oh hey, what's a Facebook?" to "you DON'T tweet? You must be a loser". That doesn't make my past actions right. But it does mean that if you post something stupid on any forms of social media, it is just that - social. That means your dirty laundry or night long beer olympics is now viral. Anyone can access that information.

Just about every single employer now-a-days will run a standard "stalk-out" on a young person before they hire them. This way they can see what a person is actually like, not just the robot in the interview chair, trained to respond exactly as they should to impress their hirer. Heck, the coach had me facebook stalk each recruit as they came in - sorry guys! This is just what our society is leaning towards. If you don't like it, don't post stupid crap! Then you won't have to deal with the repercussions!

I'm not saying 'don't have fun' ... go ahead, act like underage idiots. Risk your future. See what happens. But I am saying keep that crap off the internet. You look trashy. You look lazy. You look like a depressed drunk. You look factionless (book worm humor).

*****

So here's the take-home message.... No matter what you post, the people you don't think will see or you don't want to see it, see it. So every time you are about to post something, think to yourself - would I say these words, show this picture or video or talk this way directly to my parents, my grandparents, my coach, my professors, my future employer, my future spouse, my future children or even my friends? If you hesitate or answer no to ANY of these people... backspace, delete, rewind and DON'T FROGGIN' POST IT!

*****

Oh, and if he breaks up with you... please.... for .... the .... love.... of... God.... KEEP THE TEARS TO YOURSELF! Twitter doesn't care.


Whew! That was fun.

Shout out and mild rant

A few weeks ago, my bff/the coach's bff/jessie's bff/our roommate/general entertainer, Cody Wellmann asked what it would take to get a "shout out" on this here little bloggy-poo.... Well, here ya go, Wetty. You got your shout out.

But that kind of gave me an idea for a blog. I'm dedicating this post to a "shout out" of sorts, but then tying that into my usual rants about what a photographer should/should not do/ what a client can expect from ME when I come to video/picture their cattle/other livestock. This way, you know exactly what to expect when you hire me.... or something like that.

Okay, so first off (the shout out part) I'm going to tell you the stock photogs I admire/ look up/ think of as BAs.

1.) the one and only - Christy Collins. Need I explain? She is without question the most talented cattle photographer of the era... and the person I strive to be like on a daily basis.

2.) Anyone I worked with at ShowChampions / are now employed by the company. Because their work is clean, high quality, professional and amazing. When it comes to show photography, no company is better. End of story.

3.) Kyla Copeland/ the Focus Marketing group. Kyla is rocking it. No two ways about it. I love her work.

4.) whoever's logo is 'KM' .. kudos to you! Always producing legit shots of some legit cattle.

When I see the logos of these 4 companies/individuals, I know the shot is going to be a great one.

Now, as far as portrait work, I respect just about everyone. For one thing - I dislike portrait work. This is because I'm not a designer and I rely heavily on my ability to shoot high quality images without having to drag them into photoshop. When it comes to people pictures, this action is standard. I'm not saying I won't do it, I certainly will... but only if I a) know the person I'm taking pics of ... and b) feel comfortable enough around that person that I can be completely myself. Typically, I only agree to picture my livestock friends... since most of them will understand when I start jumping around like a monkey. Anyway, I love love love looking at other peeps work... two of those in particular are/is Morgan Meisenheimer and Taylor Walker. These two young ladies do an AMAZING job. And are SO fantastic to be around. I look up to both of them for sure. 

Here's why I say all of this... the response from my recent rants about "photographers" was overwhelming - in a good way. I'm not trying to "dis" anyone. That's not my job/place/how I was raised. All I'm saying is if what you are selling/providing to people as "professional photography" can be done on an iphone app.... you might want to reevaluate your style. Jusssssayin'. Plus, if you have worked in photoshop, you can tell when a picture has been messed with. However, most cattlemen aren't blind, either. So when you put a steer on a new background or take something out of the background, we can see it. My father-in-law can even see it. Google how to photoshop cleaner. If you have five of the same branches in a row because you had to take out a hand.... WE WILL NOTICE THE FIVE EXACT SAME BRANCHES LINED UP. If you think it looks weird, guess what? Everyone else is going to think it looks like shhhhhhhhh-crap. And don't get me started on tilting.... wow. Gah. 

And for the love of God, do NOT come at me AGAIN with all your nonsense saying you have how ever many facebook followers, blah, blah, blah because you assume I'm talking about you. The good photogs know they're good, don't have to copy others, and don't have to do stupid design techniques to their images. Because they are Just. That. Good. If you don't like what I'm saying, don't read my blog and STOP ASKING MY TO 'LIKE' YOUR PAGE.

I digress. 

Okay, so with all of this...now onto what you can expect from me....

*I will be on time (98.99999% of the time)

*I will be prepared

*I will prepare (get directions/exact numbers on what is being filmed or pictured/etc) at least a week before I get to your place. I don't do surprises. Solely because I go from zero to anxiety attack in t-minus 2 seconds. 

*I'm directionally retarded. But my GPS is not. 

*I am a guy's girl. Ask the coach's friends. I just get along with males more quickly than females. With that said.... 

*I'm not girly. Do not think that for a second

*Not much scares me. Literally. 

*Unless something other than me touches my still camera

*Or I see a snake. Soooo... warn me if your place is prone to the pythons. 

*I prefer picturing stuff off the halter. I can control the shot so much more. Plus, the animal will look much more natural and higher quality. 

*But I will picture on halter if you would like me to. 

*But I will take it off in photoshop. Halters and crap - the literal kind - are the only two things I will photoshop without you asking me to. 

*I'm not afraid of a bluffer. I can smell one from a mile away

*Don't assume I'm afraid of your bull. I'm not

*However, I am TERRIFIED of your pony.

*Don't ask why

*I will be entertaining. 

*I will make you laugh

*But will do so while doing a kick a## job

*I don't slack

*Even though I'm a girl and I'm witty, do not assume I have no idea what I'm doing/looking at/how an animal is supposed to look. Please.

*I will not do something that someone else has done. That meaning, I don't copy others work. 

*Please don't ask me to

*I will use our shoot as an opportunity to tan my face and shoulders, so...

*If I start to look burnt, don't worry... my skin is fabulous and the burn won't last more than a day

*I will have your images ready/"done" the same day or the following day after your shoot.

*Because I don't need to edit.

*That is if you get ears

*Always be prepared to get ears

*I don't need a team of more than 3 (not including me) for the video pen and 2 (including me) for photos. 

*However, I do enjoy it when there are people working in the back, getting cattle ready/having the next lot ready to go/etc. 

*Your videos will be edited 5-7 business days after I come home from your place. 

*I don't need a lunch break

*Because I pack snacks

*I will eat those snacks while working

*Don't judge me

*Please let me know if the fence I'm standing beside is "turned on" or has electric running through it. I will scream. 

*I was raised in a barn. I've had my butt kicked by a rouge bull before. So I know how to move/handle/act around your rouge bull. I'm 100% comfortable around said bull. However.....

*I will geek out if the mosquitos around your place are bigger than said bull. 

*If your cowboys arrive to the shoot hungover, I will make their lives a living hell. And you will be 100% entertained. 

*I'm not rude

*If I have nowhere else to go after your shoot, I will be glad to help you put cows back/move stuff around/lend a hand.

*I will take my time with a picture

*Don't rush me through taking a picture

*If I'm satisfied with a shot, you will be too... I promise

*Do not bring up PSU or JoePa.... unless you are prepared to have me go cray cray yankee

*You won't hear me say anything negative .... unless it's below 50 degrees.... I hate cold. 

*I will provide a professional, high quality product. 

*And an endless supply of wit and smiles

This is how I roll... I love what I do, and I love the people I work with/for. I enjoy every second I'm on the job and the time I spend in between shoots. I hope this post has given you more of a perspective of what I do/my thought process. I'm not using this post to brag about myself or to talk "smack" on anyone. I'm just giving you as a reader a better look into the life of this coach's wife.

Sorry, I'm not sorry.

If I get yelled at for this post, I'm blaming it on you, Wetty.

That moment....

When I'm on my parents' computer and about to be done with an 8 picture upload for a "photo Friday" blog post and the effing power goes out. Seriously? Seriously? And of course, I'm stuck re-uploading them all... on essentially dial-up internet.

So y'all are going to have to wait until we get back to Texas tomorrow for my "photo Friday" on crack edition.... eff you, power. Ugh.

Here's a shot to hold y'all over until tomorrow. Because I'm not about to sit here for another two hours.....

 

...cuz it would be like watching the corn grow.

 

On a side note, the corn is REALLY froggin' tall here in Lancaster County. Like what the crack?

 

 



"I have vomit in my pocket"

It has been one of those days. Like the kind a pint of Blue Bell can't fix. The kind of day Joe needs to wear a helmet. And he did. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed... though that's unlikely. I could blame "dream Joe" (the joe that enters my dreams but really acts very little like the actual Joe. He has a "dream Joelynn". She's psycho. And a B-word. And a hussy. It is my firm belief that if he would kill and burn "dream Joelynn" like the witch that she is, that my actual real life moods would improve) since he refused to kill the snakes infesting the pond I was trying to sunbathe in. Darn you dream Joe. I hate snakes. But no, that's not the issue. I don't think anything could have caused / improved this wreck of a day.

I'm going to bypass telling you about the morning / afternoon since I would like to maintain a healthy marriage. And I don't want to rat the Coach out on why he possibly didn't help my crummy mood... who forgets to pick up some very important bedding from the dry cleaners for an entire month?!?! But no, I won't rat him out like that. Just not my style. So lets flash to about 5:30 pm.

I was (like I said) in a slump. And when this happens, typically a relaxing, wonderfully uplifting trip to my favorite manicurist helps boost my spirits. Biggest problem is that this said mani man is in CS. Not Brenham. Only a 50-minute drive. But when in a witchy mood, sometimes 50 minutes can set you into a straight twitching fit. But at that point, I was more than willing to risk it. So in my car I go. Being the type ADD case that I am, I can never go for a drive without being on the phone. Thank you hands free phone technology. I typically call Joe first, followed by my immediate family. But since the pointed hat was still within arms reach, I decided to first try my parentals. No answer... that's right, they're in WY with big brother numero uno. So I ran to big brother numero dos. Success! I talk to Ryan 1 (I have two blood brothers and two BILs.... 3 of which are named Ryan. Seriously. You can't make that kind of thing up. And you thought the whole Joe^squared thing was weird... That's just the start of it) pretty often, he is *sappy comment alert* my best friend and the person I respect the most in life. Tonight's convo took place in a horse barn. No seriously. Molly and Ryan 1 have ponies. It's special. They (the ponies) hate me. Hence my fear of ponies. Anyway... while he was leaving the barn he had a brief turrets moment, cursed like a Donough and said he had to call me back because my amazing 3-year-old nephew, Maddox, was throwing up all over himself. He called me right back, said Mad-Man was fine and even said he had good spirits about the whole ordeal. Ryan said Maddox said... and I quote "I have vomit in my pocket". Holy poo I almost got in a wreck I was laughing so hard. Just awesome. Guess you had to be there/know the situation. But the story continues......

So I make it to my mani man... and my day of doom continues. How can this be? Johnny, Johnny, Johnny... how many times do we need to go over this? I like my nails the length and strength that they are. It's been 6 months since these nails have seen glue or acrylic and I would really like to keep them going in this positive, healthy direction. And no, I do not want them ROUNDED... who are you? Why are you suddenly acting like you haven't been my mani man for the past four years?! Then... oh THEN... he asked what color I was feeling. My response? Bubble-gum pink, hold the shimmer/glitter/metallic nonsense. I'm not ten. I like my nails simple. Not tacky. Doesn't go well with my lazy persona. So what am I looking down at? Ten nails that look like a unicorn took a poo on. Don't get me wrong, it isn't terrible... it has just been that kind of day. I hate to sound like a chapter of 'White Girl Problems' ( Babe Walker, you are my icon ), but this is my blog and today I want it to sound like the rambles of a crazy, spoiled little brat. Hmph.

The day continues... I went to the super-market to restock on our fridge of fresh and yummy produce. While closely inspecting celery hearts, my face was slapped with a terrifyingly cold and unannounced mist of... I pray water. My reaction was a high squeak/jump combo that I'm sure was rather annoying to endure. The young gent picking out produce nearby saw this reaction and decided to laugh.. and followed this up with a half-donkied attempt to make small talk... over produce. Dear God, what did I do to deserve this? Well, in a snap his lady friend appearing person swooped in and (shouting in my general direction) said "NO! We only eat organic greens, honey!". Wha-wha-seriously?!?! Did you just say... really?!? I sure do hope girlfriend could not read minds. Then again, it would be good for her if she could. I'm take my produce/beef/everything with a little bit of chemicals, hormones and whatever else makes it grow better, faster, bigger and bug-free.

I sound crazy. Don't judge me. I sound needy. Don't judge me. This is my first 'pitty me' entry. Don't judge me. It's been a crummy day. One where pizza doesn't even taste good. Believe me, I tried. Don't judge me.

But then again, it could be worst. I could be doing Maddox's laundry tonight... hmmm.